the happiest sad day

wow, what a title.

i have to tell you. i think that i'm finally getting old, for real.
today, i realized that my 10 year old son, is going to grow up some day. a little more every day.

my son is very small for his age. he's 10 years old, about 4ft 2in. tall and has finally reached 63 pounds. maybe that's why i always think he's still my little guy. or maybe it's that denial thing hoping that i'll always be the coolest guy on the planet. but i have really got to get a grip on the idea that he's almost a teen.

anyway, today he informed me that he is old enough (and big enough) to mow the lawn by himself. automatically, i silently screamed halelujiah!!!! thank you Jesus!!!!! i love you Lord!!! you are so good to me!!!! then i thought, am i crazy to think that you should outweigh the push mower before you operate it? oh well. so i tell him, ok, let's try it out. you mow, and i'll watch to make sure you do it right and don't cut your feet off. about a half hour later, he was finished, and it looked just as good as if i had done it myself. (ok, that's not saying much but hey) and, i only had to give minimal instructions.

later, i wondered, is this how God feels? does he watch us take our first steps towards independance and think "hey, i'm right here if you need me. don't worry about anything. you're doing fine on your own, but if you need help, i'm right behind you waiting to help"

so many times, i wanted to jump in and rescue him from mistakes. i wanted to take the handle from him and straighten out the lines. but i had to let him learn to do it on his own. is that how God feels? He knows what we need to do. He knows that we're not going straight. He knows that He could fix it all for us. but instead, He loves us enough to let us grow.

wow. i guess, if nothing else, today i learned that even when i'm out there on my own, if i get off of the straight, my Father is right behind me, waiting to give me the instruction or even the help that i need.

God bless
much love
theoldmusicbox