I'm dying, so i'm writing my own eulogy

not anytime soon, but, yes, i am dying. you see, i have this condition that there has no cure. and i am hopeless to fight it. my condition is called humanity. and my demise is because of the side effects of this thing called sin.

sorry for the heart stopping title, but now that i've got your attention, let me tell you what has been on my heart lately.

one of my best friends, and most loved people in the whole world has lost 2 people that she loved dearly in the last month. both to cancer. a guy that i work with is watching his wife slowly lose that same battle. the girl who lives next door to me is suffering from kidney failure and is waiting for a transplant, and she has only been home 6 days of the new year so far. and now, she has to sit around dying, praying that someone else that matches her blood types and other factors has a bad accident and dies, and is also a donor so that she can live. how bad would that suck? i can't even imagine being in that position. and, my mother just had double by-pass surgery.

where is God in all of this? why does He let these things happen? Why doesn't He just save us all?

how many times have i posed these questions to God? the best answer that i can give is this. death, sickness, pain, and heartache are all in this world because of sin. we live in a fallen world. full of sin. and the wages of sin is death. so, hey, i guess that since i am a sinner (even though saved by grace), one of these days, i'm going to get paid. unless Jesus comes back before payday, or i go out like elijah (and really, how cool would that be?). no matter if i lose weight and take better care of myself. i'm still dying. (that's no excuse to not take care of yourself by the way) but it's true.

i heard a song today. one of the lines really caught my attention. it said "i wish this moment wouldn't be me dying, but me spending a little time with you" that is the kind of attitude that i want to have.

so, if i die, i don't want it to be an event that is devastating to people. i don't want people mourning me for months and months. i don't want people being angry at God because He took me. i don't want my funeral to be a mourning of my DEATH, i want it to be a celebration of my LIFE. i want people to be thankful to God that He allowed me to be in their lives for however long it was.

and honestly, if remembering me makes your teardrops fall, then please, don't remember me at all.

i want to be remembered as a man who loved God more than his own life. a man who loved his wife with every ounce of my being. a man who cherished my children so much that i sacrificed all i had to make them happy and gave all that i could to lead them to Christ. a friend who could always seem to make you smile. give that encouraging word when you needed it. and help you learn to hear from God for yourself. the minister that cried with you, laughed with you, prayed with you, worshiped with you and tried his best to leave you with something to think about. the singer who could move you with his spirit as much as his voice. and the writer who wrote the things that you just couldn't seem to put into words.

let that be my eulogy. to live is Christ, but to die is gain. and, while i don't want to die, i don't want to be mad when it happens :)

these are just a few things that have been on my mind lately.
much love
theoldmusicbox

NEVER EVER mess with a Davis

this is my cousin. you never ever, ever want to mess with a Davis.

http://www.wkyt.com/home/headlines/35606739.html

have a nice day

carry me home

hey everybody.

wow.
that's really all that i can say.

sunday night, i finally got to preach a sermon that's been on my heart for quite some time. it was titled "Jesus said NO". while it didn't go quite the way that i had imagined it, it went exactly how God needed it to. and i am very thankful for that.

after the sermon, i was happy to see both my nephew and my dad at the alter, among several others who had responded to the word of God. also there were teens from Evangel that made recommitments to Christ. and much to my joy, there were broken people that were set free. and one certain person in particular.

you see, while i didn't know who it was, i new that God was sending me to minister there, on that night, for a specific reason. for a specific person. and i am thankful that they were open to the word of God.

i struggled during my sermon with whether or not to share a personal battle that i had faced several years ago. but God kept pressing me that it was something that would touch someone. finally, i told of a time when i had "lost" myself in my christian life. and the cause of it, and the pain and hopelessness that i had felt at that time. and i told of how God brought me through it.

during alter service, a woman came to the front, in tears, and told me that she was going through the exact same battle, and that i had described her feelings of despair like i had read her mind. i knew where she was. because i had been there and survived to tell of it. i was able to pray with her. and pray over her. and offer her hope. peace. joy. and the heart of Christ.

one of my favorite poems is the "footprints" poem. the one where, at the end, Jesus says "my precious child. i love you, and would never leave you. in the times when you saw only one set of prints, it was then that i carried you."

i can offer no better offer of hope than that. if you are tired. if you are broken. if you are lost. if you feel forgotten. if you feel hopeless. if you don't know how to stand anymore. you are not alone. it is in those moments that we realize the truth of the scripture that says "My strength is made perfect in weakness." because it is then. at that moment, that He can show us how much He loves us. by picking us up. cradling us in his arms. and carrying us home.

so if you are there. look up to heaven, and say Lord, i'm tired. i'm hurting. i'm sad. please, i have no strength left to stand. will you carry me home? and see if He doesn't cradle you, and carry you home.

much love.
theoldmusicbox

it's better to remain silent and be thought a fool.........

one of my favorite quotes ever is the abraham lincoln qoute "it's better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt." i don't think that it's ever been said better than that.

let me give you 2 great examples of this. i saw two cars on the road and was amazed by how dumb people can make themselves look.

example #1: this car had a bumper sticker that said "UNITED WE STAND" and on the other side of the bumper it had a second bumber sticker that said "HE'S NOT MY PRESIDENT". so, apparently this person wants to contribute to our fallen position, or they are an idiot.

example #2: this car had a total of 4 bumper stickers #1-the only difference between obama and osama is bs. #2- 10 out of 10 terrorists approve of obama. #3- obama bin lyin. and my personal favorite, #4-positive and encouraging K-LOVE. ok, how do you have 'POSITIVE AND ENCOURAGING' on the same bumper as 3 derogatory stickers? why not instead, put some positive promo's of the candidate that you endorse. once again, i believe this person to be an idiot.

ok, i'm really not trying to be so harsh. i just get annoyed when people don't notice how important it is to know what you believe and be able to express it without attacking others.

let me give you an example. last week, i spent about 5 hours talking to someone that i don't agree with about our religious beliefs. at no point did we raise our voices, yell, call each other names or any other things like that. you see, the moment that you start doing those things is the moment that you lose your credibility. when people can't defend what they believe, they resort to attacking. trying to shut the other person up.

i like to debate/discuss. however, i refuse to argue. too many christians today, simply can not do this though. they really don't know why they believe the things that they believe. they can't tell you what the bible says, so they get angry at their own lack of knowledge, and start attacking what the other person stands for. do you really think your going to win anyone like that? at the moment you quit trying to explain your belief and start trying to tear down what they believe, they will no longer care what you have to say.

i'm not saying that i convinced him, nor he convinced me. however, we both entered the discussion with respect that the other person had strong beliefs and we both gave our points and listened, even if we disagreed. who knows, maybe one day, a life could be changed because we actually know why we believe what we believe.

so next time that you get angry when someone disagrees with you, ask yourself before you speak, "will this response draw them in, or push them away" and try your best not to REMOVE ALL DOUBT.

much love
theoldmusicbox

hey, i didn't fall off of the planet!!

well, it sure has been a crazy last couple of months hasn't it. i'm happy to say that baby bethany is home and doing great. she's up to 8 pounds now. wow, that's a long way from 3 pounds 4.5 ounces. oh yeah, she was suppose to be born last saturday. oops, only missed that one by about 2 and a half months. hey, maybe that means that she'll always be ready to go early or on time. well, she is still a female so i guess i shouldn't get my hopes up.

anyway, what have i been thinking about for these last couple of months. i sure haven't been blogging. mostly because i've been praying, or taking care of family, or trying to work or sleep, or (shhhhh) both at the same time (oops).

i have been thinking that i am the most blessed man on the planet.
even through all of the craziness. and all of the heartwrenching ache of doubt and fear that tried to tear apart my soul during the dark hours. i never felt abandoned. i never felt alone.

through the whole mess, i felt the hand of God firmly on my shoulder. He gave me strength to get through, to care for my wife, to care for all of my children (who, by the way, have taught me a newfound respect for single parents. i would never survive, God bless you all) i was reminded time and time again, that, "His strength is made perfect in my weakness". my friends, i have mastered the whole "weakness" part. and am thanking God daily for His strength.

be back soon
much love
theoldmusicbox

coming soon

hey everybody!!

i know, i know, i know. it's been, like, 3 months since my last blog. i apologize, really, i do.

it has been absolutely insane around here though. first, my wife's water broke almost 3 months early, then a whole host of other things. but, now, everything is fine. my 'fun-sized' baby, who by the way does NOT have leigh in her name, (tsk, tsk) is home and doin't great. she is almost normal sized now and growing more everyday.

although i haven't had time to blog, trust me when i say, i've had plenty of time to think. so, there will be some interesting blogs coming soon. i have much to be thankful for. much to look forward to, and nothing more to fear.

talk to you SOON.
theoldmusicbox.

the happiest sad day

wow, what a title.

i have to tell you. i think that i'm finally getting old, for real.
today, i realized that my 10 year old son, is going to grow up some day. a little more every day.

my son is very small for his age. he's 10 years old, about 4ft 2in. tall and has finally reached 63 pounds. maybe that's why i always think he's still my little guy. or maybe it's that denial thing hoping that i'll always be the coolest guy on the planet. but i have really got to get a grip on the idea that he's almost a teen.

anyway, today he informed me that he is old enough (and big enough) to mow the lawn by himself. automatically, i silently screamed halelujiah!!!! thank you Jesus!!!!! i love you Lord!!! you are so good to me!!!! then i thought, am i crazy to think that you should outweigh the push mower before you operate it? oh well. so i tell him, ok, let's try it out. you mow, and i'll watch to make sure you do it right and don't cut your feet off. about a half hour later, he was finished, and it looked just as good as if i had done it myself. (ok, that's not saying much but hey) and, i only had to give minimal instructions.

later, i wondered, is this how God feels? does he watch us take our first steps towards independance and think "hey, i'm right here if you need me. don't worry about anything. you're doing fine on your own, but if you need help, i'm right behind you waiting to help"

so many times, i wanted to jump in and rescue him from mistakes. i wanted to take the handle from him and straighten out the lines. but i had to let him learn to do it on his own. is that how God feels? He knows what we need to do. He knows that we're not going straight. He knows that He could fix it all for us. but instead, He loves us enough to let us grow.

wow. i guess, if nothing else, today i learned that even when i'm out there on my own, if i get off of the straight, my Father is right behind me, waiting to give me the instruction or even the help that i need.

God bless
much love
theoldmusicbox

the world is finally spinning the right way

there are many things that could bring me down today. i must admit it. if i were to sit around and think of all the things that are not the way that i want them to be, i could sit and cry.

i mean really, it's an election year, and there aren't any real choices. we've got 2 communists in disguise, and a liberal democrat pretending to be a republican.

i must admit that right now, i really don't care about any of that. trouble at work, stess all around. it really doesn't matter to me today.

why you ask. the answer is simple. since last october, i have been deprived of my most favorite thing. and as of today, my motorcycle is finally fixed. yeah baby. i'll have bugs in my teeth tomorrow from smiling as i ride past all the gas stations with my 45 miles per gallon 2 wheeled piece of heaven on earth. thank you Jesus for giving us the know how to make life a little better with the joys of a 1500cc v-twin motor. you truly are an amazing God.

and for those of you who haven't yet experienced this joy, you have my condolences, and my prayers that God will find a way to bring you peace and joy in your life.

much love
theoldmusicbox

no thanks, i can handle it.

no thanks, i can handle it

how many times have you said that? how many times have you been struggling, fighting, desperately holding on to that last scrap of sanity that you can call your own. then, when someone asks you "can i help you somehow?" you reply "no thanks, i can handle it".


if this is you, i have to ask you something. what makes you think that you are so tough?


i've been thinking about this all week. you see, sunday was easter. my favorite holiday. that is the day that i surrendered my life to Christ. april 3, 1994. easter sunday morning.


this year, for the first time, i spent the evening watching "king of kings" with my kids. while watching with my son and daughter both at my side, God reminded me of a revelation that i knew once, but had forgotten. "i really don't have to be that tough"


after Jesus was beaten, he had to carry his cross (i believe it was over 2 miles, but i may be wrong) to calvary. have you ever seen "the passion of the Christ"? i don't think that i could carry my cross to my neighbors house after that beating. but do you know what. Jesus couldn't do it either. at one point, while carrying His cross, he fell down and could NOT continue to carry it. so someone else had to carry it for Him!

my friends, don't you see, even our Lord needed help carrying His cross. just like you and me. sometimes we need help. sometimes we need to allow someone else to bear our burdens with us. if Jesus was able to allow someone to help Him, what makes us feel shamed when we can't carry our cross by ourself?

this is a hard lesson for me. i always feel like "hey, it's my cross, it's my battle, if i need help, the Lord will help me" but ya know what, sometimes, the Lord helps us by sending others in His place. and through our stubborness, we refuse the help that he sends us.

so the next time someone says "can i help you?" think about it before you say "no thanks, i can handle it"

much love
theoldmusicbox

where is God?

ok, here's the deal. if you've read my stuff lately, you kinda know some of the things i've been dealing with. since i asked the questions "why" last week, i felt like i needed to continue on that vein this week. if nothing else, just to show everyone that i am, in fact, ok.

where is God?

how many times have you been asked that question? how many times have you asked it yourself?

the truth of the matter is, that we all have those moments. you know the ones. when we have borne all that we feel like we can bear. when we have finally come to the end of ourself. when we finally cry out, "dear God!!!! can you hear me????? are you there?? are you listening??

even one of my favorite bible heroes had that feeling. elijah the prophet hid in a cave, scared and trembling because he feared men. then elisha the prophet, after elijah was taken in the chariot of fire. he felt abandoned. in 2nd kings chapter 2. he took the mantel of elijah and hit the waters and said "where is the God of elijah?"

isn't it amazing. after everything that elijah and elisha had witnessed. raising of dead children. fire from heaven. among other things. they doubted the very presence of God in their lives at times. did that make them any less of a man of God? no. it made them human.

i am trying to put a video up here. i don't know if it will work, or if it is just a link. if it doesn't work, go to youtube and search for joshua bell, it will be the first one that comes up. check it out. then finish reading.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hnOPu0_YWhw

the violinist is joshua bell. he is the 1 violinist in the country, possibly the world. the violin he is playing was made in the early 1700's. it is worth over 3.5 million dollars. the cheap seats to his concert sell for $100. after the subway he played a sold out concert.

in the subway, he was barely noticed at all. he played for 45 minutes and people thought that he was a street player and in 45 minutes people placed less than $35 in his violin case! this man usually receives $1000 a minute to perform. and almost all of the people in the subway that day didn't even notice him.

it is just like that with God. we have something truly amazing right within our grasp. right here where we are. trying desperately to reach out to us. and what do we do? we turn away. act like we don't see. don't hear. why? because we know that if we look, if we notice, it may just cost us something. the people that noticed mr. bell recieved a concert that would have cost several hundred dollars. for spare change they had in their pockets. and received a few moments of beautiful music.

but if we would just open our eyes to the amazing God who is in our reach, it may cost us our lives, but it will win us eternity.

just remember, when you feel like God is nowhere to be found, He may just be right in front of your eyes. desperately trying to get your attention.

much love
theoldmusicbox

why?

why? why me? why us? why does this have to happen now?

ever asked any of these questions? i know i have. and, i'm going to be honest with you. i don't have the answers. in fact, for the most part, i'm not any closer to the truth than i was 15 years ago.

here's the deal. about 4 weeks ago, we discovered that my wife is pregnant. this was unplanned. a total shock. we actually had just decided for me to make an appointment to end the possibility. we even sold the high chair. (dang) at first, i was asking God, why? why now? this is terrible timing. i mean really, i'll be like 53 years old when this one graduates. i was half way done!!!!!

ok, i have to admit, after the shock wore off, i was excited. happy. even kinda stupid-new-dad-giddy! and the reality started to sink in.

then, on wednesday night, my wife started having some bleeding issues. i quickly did the math, she is now 9 weeks pregnant. that is how far she was when we lost our first daughter. we called the doctor and they set up an ultrasound for thursday.

when we got in, they brought it up on the screen. i saw 2. the first thought that i had was, WOW, OMG!!!!! how do twins get through birth control? then, i noticed that i couldn't find a heartbeat. and also that 1 was much smaller than the other.

well, we were givin the news. we were going to have twins, but 1 of them didn't make it. it just wasn't strong enough. but the other was strong and healthy. finally got to see the heartbeat!!!!!!

so, this is where i am now. how am i suppose to feel? i'm heartbroken about the one, but rejoicing for the other.

in my thoughts over the last few weeks, here are some of the things on my mind. i have a good friend at work who has been trying to have a 2nd baby for the last 2 years. his lovely wife has endured 5 miscarriages in those 2 years. also, my dear friend jen, has been unable to carry a baby, and has had to have a hystorectomy, so will never be able to. even though she has an adopted daughter (who is ALL hers) she can't give birth to one. and here we are, pregnant, by accident. how do you explain this? why me, and not them. don't get me wrong, i'm not complaining. i'm just saying, it doesn't make sense to the human mind.

all of my life, i've heard things like "if God is so good, why does He let bad things happen to good people?".

well, the only thoughts i have are these. we live in a fallen world. there will be pain. there will be heartache. death, sickness, disappointments. the bible tells us that God sends rain on the just and the unjust.

you see, God never promised to keep us from pain and dissappointment. in fact He promised in his word "many are the afflictions of the righteous" (bet you won't find that in your bible promises booklet) but he also said "but the Lord will deliver them from them all". i would rather have 1,000,000 afflictions with God's deliverance than to have 1 to deal with on my own.

if you've never heard it before, i suggest that you listen to Natalie Grant's song "held". if your hurting, there is healing in it for you. it says, "when everything fails, we'll be held"

sometimes, if you're honest, when you're hurting, all you really want is to be held while you cry.

thank God for arms to hold us. i know that i've been cradled in them alot lately. and ya know, there is room for you here too.

much love

theoldmusicbox