you are my hope

so hey, this month, in children's ministry, we are teaching the kids about hope. so i ask myself, what exactly does that mean. what does it mean to have hope? why should i have hope? is there really anything left in the world to have hope in? or have we as a human race become so jaded that we see life as hopeless?

i mean, really! the economy is going down the tubes. the world, as a whole, seems to be at war. people all around me are losing their jobs. loved ones are getting bad health reports. shucks, even i had to go to the hospital and have my appendix removed a couple weeks ago. so, really, where can we find hope.

i've had several conversations in the last couple of weeks with people that i truly love and respect. (no, not just YOU ;) btw) and they are totally disheartened. they seem to be losing their faith because of things going on in their church. and they are on the path to being some of those old bitter sourpuss christians that we all know (and love (: ). where is the HOPE?

i must admit, there have been times when my faith was shaken. there have been times when i blamed God for the shortcomings of His people. and there have been times when i have even asked God, "are we really worth the trouble?" and every time, He gently reminds me, "yes, my son, YOU were worth it all".

you see, i have no delusions of grandeur. i know that i am just as bad as the people that almost made me bitter. i've hurt others. i've discouraged others. i've let others down. and i've broken their hearts. not intentionally, of course. but i am human, just like them. the thing that we need to understand, is that, most of the time, when we are hurt, it was NOT intentional. like the old saying goes "the road to hell is paved with good intentions". sometimes, when we are wounded by "friendly fire" it is not so much "on purpose" as it is "a fallen human was involved".

that is why the bible tells us not to put our faith in men. that is why we know that Jesus, not the pastor, or the deacon, or the assistant pastor, or the woman in the third row, etc. etc etc, is our savior, and is the one who we should look to. is the one that our faith should be in.

how many of you remember the late 80's and early 90's????? were you old enough to remember all of the televangelists that fell? and ALL of the people who fell away from the church. i mean, who remembers the group "suicidal tendencies" song "send me your money"? and ozzy osbournes' song "miracle man"? it seemed like the whole world lost sight of Christ because a few highly placed preachers, fell from grace. lost sight of the savior. my question is this, why did the world fall away? was it because Christ let them down, or because their faith was in men?

billy graham once said that "the greatest cause of atheism in the world today is christians, who say that Jesus lives, then deny that he does by their lifestyle" how true is that? i wrote a blog a long time ago that asked the question "are christians their own worst enemies?" and covered this before. so, i have to ask again, where can we find hope?

2 of my favorite groups are third day and skillet. (yeah, i know) and 2 songs that by them that i love are "my hope is you (td)" and "you are my hope (S)". it really doesn't get any simpler than that. when you are all out of hope, there is really only one place to find it. if you are tired, there is only one place to find rest. if you are scared, there is only one place to find comfort. and if you are hurting, there is only one place to find healing. it is not in yourself, it is not in a bar, it is not in a bed, it is not on the road, it is not on the run. and i've said this a thousand times before. but if you are finally at the end of yourself, and your tired of running. the best place to run, is home. to the loving, waiting arms of YOUR savior. because it truly is only there that you will ever find hope. and the hope that you are desperately searching for is there waiting for you.

i love you all
much love
theoldmusicbox

I'm dying, so i'm writing my own eulogy

not anytime soon, but, yes, i am dying. you see, i have this condition that there has no cure. and i am hopeless to fight it. my condition is called humanity. and my demise is because of the side effects of this thing called sin.

sorry for the heart stopping title, but now that i've got your attention, let me tell you what has been on my heart lately.

one of my best friends, and most loved people in the whole world has lost 2 people that she loved dearly in the last month. both to cancer. a guy that i work with is watching his wife slowly lose that same battle. the girl who lives next door to me is suffering from kidney failure and is waiting for a transplant, and she has only been home 6 days of the new year so far. and now, she has to sit around dying, praying that someone else that matches her blood types and other factors has a bad accident and dies, and is also a donor so that she can live. how bad would that suck? i can't even imagine being in that position. and, my mother just had double by-pass surgery.

where is God in all of this? why does He let these things happen? Why doesn't He just save us all?

how many times have i posed these questions to God? the best answer that i can give is this. death, sickness, pain, and heartache are all in this world because of sin. we live in a fallen world. full of sin. and the wages of sin is death. so, hey, i guess that since i am a sinner (even though saved by grace), one of these days, i'm going to get paid. unless Jesus comes back before payday, or i go out like elijah (and really, how cool would that be?). no matter if i lose weight and take better care of myself. i'm still dying. (that's no excuse to not take care of yourself by the way) but it's true.

i heard a song today. one of the lines really caught my attention. it said "i wish this moment wouldn't be me dying, but me spending a little time with you" that is the kind of attitude that i want to have.

so, if i die, i don't want it to be an event that is devastating to people. i don't want people mourning me for months and months. i don't want people being angry at God because He took me. i don't want my funeral to be a mourning of my DEATH, i want it to be a celebration of my LIFE. i want people to be thankful to God that He allowed me to be in their lives for however long it was.

and honestly, if remembering me makes your teardrops fall, then please, don't remember me at all.

i want to be remembered as a man who loved God more than his own life. a man who loved his wife with every ounce of my being. a man who cherished my children so much that i sacrificed all i had to make them happy and gave all that i could to lead them to Christ. a friend who could always seem to make you smile. give that encouraging word when you needed it. and help you learn to hear from God for yourself. the minister that cried with you, laughed with you, prayed with you, worshiped with you and tried his best to leave you with something to think about. the singer who could move you with his spirit as much as his voice. and the writer who wrote the things that you just couldn't seem to put into words.

let that be my eulogy. to live is Christ, but to die is gain. and, while i don't want to die, i don't want to be mad when it happens :)

these are just a few things that have been on my mind lately.
much love
theoldmusicbox

precious memories, broken hearts

Isa 59:19 So shall they fear the name of the LORD from the west, and his glory from the rising of the sun. When the enemy shall come in like a flood, the Spirit of the LORD shall lift up a standard against him.

hey guys,

sorry it's been so long, but i've had alot on my mind lately.
last night, i did something that i love and loathe at the same time. you see, i live with packrats. 2 of the worst that i've ever met. my wife and my son. i am one of those people that believes that everything has a place, and should be there in it, while they believe that if i ever touched it, i should never be thrown away. so, imagine my angst when i needed to find something that i hadn't seen or thought of in several years. uggghh.

however, the cool part is that while looking for that thing, i found some "old" tapes of me. preaching and singing. from like back in 1998 through 2001. these were some of the first times that i ever stood before the entire congregation to give the word of God. wow. it was very humbling as i listened to them. there was some good word there, but i am my own worst critic. i found myself listening to me grow over those first years. i saw the transformation of me trying to sound like other preachers and finding the voice that God has givin me. like i said, it was very humbling. sermons like "Jesus or Barabas" "taking back what the devil stole from me" "even tough guys need a friend" "forgiving yourself" and others actually brought back memories of church family that has gone on to heaven, and those who i haven't been in touch with for a long time. precious memories of the journey that God has brought me through.

the one that really got me though, was a tape that i found from way in the beginning. you see, when i first started preaching, a good friend of mine answered his call on the same night that i did. we often would do "tag-team" style sermons and anytime one of us was invited to preach, the other would go to support and encourage the other. he was my assistant youth pastor. he was my best friend.

as i listened to the tape of him preaching about the "wheat and the tares" being seperated, my heart began to break. he gave a great sermon and had me misty eyed. you see, a few years back, his heart was broken. the church let him down. and he turned his back on God. i'm not making excuses for him, don't get me wrong. i'm just saying that i saw what happened and know when the turning away started.

for the last several years, he and i have had a truce. i can talk about Christ, but not try to "win" him back. and we can still be friends.

he actually told me that he was going to come hear me the last time i preached, but he backed out. i believe that God is dealing with him right now. and, i need you guys to help me pray for him. his name is joe.

i honestly don't know what to do right now. my heart is broken for my friend, but i know that if I try, i would do more harm than good. but if God could send someone. if God would open the windows of heaven and pour out His spirit on him, i believe that he would come home. like i've said before, i don't consider myself a prophet, but i do hear from God. and right now, i'm hearing pray for joe. so, please, all of you that pray, please, pray for joe. God knows what he needs more than i do, so just let Him lead your prayers.

thank you, and i love you all
much love
theoldmusicbox