why?

why? why me? why us? why does this have to happen now?

ever asked any of these questions? i know i have. and, i'm going to be honest with you. i don't have the answers. in fact, for the most part, i'm not any closer to the truth than i was 15 years ago.

here's the deal. about 4 weeks ago, we discovered that my wife is pregnant. this was unplanned. a total shock. we actually had just decided for me to make an appointment to end the possibility. we even sold the high chair. (dang) at first, i was asking God, why? why now? this is terrible timing. i mean really, i'll be like 53 years old when this one graduates. i was half way done!!!!!

ok, i have to admit, after the shock wore off, i was excited. happy. even kinda stupid-new-dad-giddy! and the reality started to sink in.

then, on wednesday night, my wife started having some bleeding issues. i quickly did the math, she is now 9 weeks pregnant. that is how far she was when we lost our first daughter. we called the doctor and they set up an ultrasound for thursday.

when we got in, they brought it up on the screen. i saw 2. the first thought that i had was, WOW, OMG!!!!! how do twins get through birth control? then, i noticed that i couldn't find a heartbeat. and also that 1 was much smaller than the other.

well, we were givin the news. we were going to have twins, but 1 of them didn't make it. it just wasn't strong enough. but the other was strong and healthy. finally got to see the heartbeat!!!!!!

so, this is where i am now. how am i suppose to feel? i'm heartbroken about the one, but rejoicing for the other.

in my thoughts over the last few weeks, here are some of the things on my mind. i have a good friend at work who has been trying to have a 2nd baby for the last 2 years. his lovely wife has endured 5 miscarriages in those 2 years. also, my dear friend jen, has been unable to carry a baby, and has had to have a hystorectomy, so will never be able to. even though she has an adopted daughter (who is ALL hers) she can't give birth to one. and here we are, pregnant, by accident. how do you explain this? why me, and not them. don't get me wrong, i'm not complaining. i'm just saying, it doesn't make sense to the human mind.

all of my life, i've heard things like "if God is so good, why does He let bad things happen to good people?".

well, the only thoughts i have are these. we live in a fallen world. there will be pain. there will be heartache. death, sickness, disappointments. the bible tells us that God sends rain on the just and the unjust.

you see, God never promised to keep us from pain and dissappointment. in fact He promised in his word "many are the afflictions of the righteous" (bet you won't find that in your bible promises booklet) but he also said "but the Lord will deliver them from them all". i would rather have 1,000,000 afflictions with God's deliverance than to have 1 to deal with on my own.

if you've never heard it before, i suggest that you listen to Natalie Grant's song "held". if your hurting, there is healing in it for you. it says, "when everything fails, we'll be held"

sometimes, if you're honest, when you're hurting, all you really want is to be held while you cry.

thank God for arms to hold us. i know that i've been cradled in them alot lately. and ya know, there is room for you here too.

much love

theoldmusicbox

it's your choice!

hey musiclovers! long time, no blog. sorry. lots o stuff been goin on. for those of you that don't know, i'm gonna be a daddy again.

ok. enough of that stuff. it's time to get down to what you came for, so drop your dimes, press your selection, and let the jukebox of life shine a lil sunshine on your day.

today, i want to talk about a verse of scripture that is soooooo often misinterpreted and misunderstood and misquoted, that folks don't even seem to truly know what the bible was even saying in it. even i myself have misunderstood this one for years. but God has recently opened my eyes to a neat revelation and i'm ready to share it with ya.


1Co 10:13 There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it.


ok, honestly. how many times have you heard someone say, or even said yourself, "GOD WILL NEVER PUT MORE ON YOU THAN YOU CAN BEAR". i've said it at least a million times. but, that isn't what this verse is saying. it is saying that God will not allow you to be TEMPTED above what you can bear. you see, there is a difference between affliction and temptation.

don't get me wrong. i'm not saying that God will allow you to go through something that He can't deliver you from. i believe that He said that He would give His angels charge over us, that He would hide us in the cleft of the rock, that lo, He is with us always even to the ends of the earth. all i am saying is that there is a really cool fact of life hidden in this verse.
think about it. how many times have you ACCIDENTALLY sinned? how many times have you ACCIDENTALLY betrayed your Christian beliefs? how many times have you ACCIDENTALLY done something that later on, you found yourself at the alter repenting for? the answer is simply NEVER!

you see, sin is a choice that we make. we chose to disobey. we chose to lie. we chose to fornicate. we chose to do whatever it is that is sin in our lives. the verse says that we won't be "tempted above that ye are able, but will with the temptation also make a way of escape, that you may be able to bear it." lets take a look at that ok? think about it. every time you come to that crossroads, what do you have? you have that voice in your head saying "HEY STUPID, YOU'RE ABOUT TO CROSS THE LINE!!!!!" and what do you do? you say, aww not this time, or, it'll be ok. or, my personal favorite, "this is the last time. after this, i'll never do it again" but you know what? in that moment before you fall, God is making that way of escape for you!!! God himself, has filled you with the Holy Spirit. and it is the Holy Spirit talking to you saying "HEY!!!!! TURN AROUND!!!! DON'T GO IN THERE!!!!" sometimes, i kindof picture the Holy Spirit being like someone that goes to see a horror movie. there He is, in your brain eatin popcorn, watchin you go into those places you shouldn't be. and He's screaming "DON'T GO IN THERE!! YOU'RE GONNA GET KILLED IF YOU GO IN THERE!!!" and what do we do? just like the idiots in those movies, we go down in the basement where the monsters are hiding waiting to attack us.
i'm not trying to heap shame on you. trust me, after the last few months of my life, i have no shame to call out except my own. all i'm trying to do is open your eyes like mine have been open. ever since this revelation hit me, i have ESCAPED from a temptation that i once thought that i was POWERLESS to avoid. all i want, is to give you the truth, and pray that, as it did for me, it will set you free.

love to all.

God bless.
theoldmusicbox

face to face with the monster

hey guys.

before i begin, i need to say a few things. i know that i've been asking for prayer for the last 3 months, and not been able to give many details. let me explain. this monster that i have been fighting, was a very personal matter that involved more than just myself. that is why i can't give details about it. to do that would deeply hurt someone, and that, i cannot do, so i ask for your forgiveness and patience.

for a long time now, i have had serious issues with a certain person. God has been dealing with my heart about this for sometime. i have tried to be forgiving, i have tried to let the past be in the past. i have tried all that i know to do. but deep inside of me, lies bitterness and hatred, and hurt that, no matter how hard i tried, i just couldn't be freed from. it seemed that no matter how desperately i prayed or how sincere i was in my resolve, i just couldn't be free.

i know what you're thinking, "hey, you're a minister. how can you be like that?" well, honestly, i've asked myself the same thing many times. some hurts go so deep that no matter how godly you are, you still struggle with grace, mercy and forgiveness. what can i say? Oh wretched man that i am? i'm not trying to justify myself. but, i am saying that i'm not trying to hold on to these things. i desperately want to be free from it. and i appreciate everyone's prayers.

now, i have to ask all of my friends. which one of you was praying for me between 6 and 7 p.m. on friday night Nov. 9?

on friday night, my family and i went out to celebrate my birthday (it's actually on this coming wednesday, but we're busy that night). when we got to the resteraunt, we signed in and stood off to the side to wait to be seated. right then, the object of my torment came in. then stood next to me.

my heart fell to the floor. there i was with my wife and children. all i wanted to do was to reach out and, well, i don't really know what i wanted to do. but i'm sure it wouldn't have reflected well on my good christian name.

then, the host was nice enough to seat us in such a place that when i looked up from my table, i was face to face with the monster that i have been wrestling with. i decided to go to the restroom. then, realized that to do this, i had to go right past him.

it took a few minutes to restore myself. when i came back, my wife asked if we should go. but i told her no because i really felt that God had to be doing something, because it had been about 10 years since the last time. have you ever wondered why God thinks you are stronger than you do?

anyway, they left. my family and i tried to finish the evening in better moods.

later that night, lying in bed. my wife and i cried and prayed together. i really can't express how much stronger she makes me. but today, i woke up feeling like a new man.

i must say, i think with some degree of certainty, that if the monster isn't dead, he has definately been defeated. i think that the only way to win, was for God to put me face to face. i had to see for myself that he couldn't hurt me anymore. had to know that i was safe. that my family was safe.

there are a lot of things that have to be left out to protect others. many things said and done that would help you to understand. but just know this. i could not have won this battle without your help. i could never have come face to face with the monster and walked out unscathed if i hadn't had friends praying for me. i believe that the battle is over. i believe that victory is finally mine. i believe that the effectual ferverant prayers of the righteous have availed much. i believe that i have true friends who each kept their words and prayed for me, that God would give me strength. and i am more thankful to you than words could ever express.

i have finally come face to face with the monster, and i am no longer afraid.

i love you all.

God bless.
O.

new outlook, from an old place!

hey guys!

i know, i know. it's been a long time. i'm sorry. i missed you too ;>)

today, i want to tell you something that i came across recently. you see, i love to read. i generally read about a book a week or more. i recently finished a series that a friend of mine got me totally hooked on, so i found myself without a book to read. (read, not study) when this happens, i usually either read my bible or i've started reading old classics. you know the ones. the ones that are talked about so much that you think you know what's in them so you don't need to read them.

well, in doing this i have read some great books. "hamlet" "romeo and juliet" "animal farm" "1984" "the sport of the gods (by paul lawrence dunbar)" and my 2 favorite book of all time second only to the bible "uncle tom's cabin". by the way, if you've never read uncle tom's cabin, it is a must read.

anyway, i was picking out a couple of books at the library, and i picked up "the count of monte cristo" and i wanted one more. for some reason, i saw "robinson crusoe" and in my head heard the theme song from gilligan's isle. ya know "like robinson crusoe, as primative as can be" so i decided to pick it up.

here is my point, i'm like 80 pages into the book and robinson is stranded on the island, alone with only supplies and a few books. like 3 bibles. and he has been on the island for 10 months trying to figure out what to do with his problem. he finally starts reading one of the bibles and ends up crying out to Jesus for salvation. next thing ya know, he's not feeling so desperate anymore and he makes probably one of the most profound statements that i have ever heard. he says "DELIVERANCE FROM SIN IS A GREATER BLESSING THAN DELIVERANCE FROM AFFLICTION"

wow.

you know, sometimes we can get so caught up in our day to day struggles. with our daily battles. fighting the monster that lives within us. and crying out to God to save us from ....... that we seem to forget that He already has. He has delivered us from the most devastating thing in our lives. He has delivered us, from our sin. and quite honestly, even if He doesn't free us from the afflictions in this life, it is a greater blessing that He has delivered us from Hell. both in this life, and the next.

just something to think about.

God bless
O.

any good?

hey guys! i know that it's been awhile, and i apologize. while the monster isn't quite dead yet, we do have it on the run! so, thanks to all who know and have been helping.

this week, i want to cover a new topic. ok, so it's not really all that new, but i haven't talked about it in my blogs yet. i want to talk about excuses. yeah, excuses. i'm not talking about "no, i can't, i'm doing my hair tonight", excuses. follow along and hopefully, by the end, you'll see what i'm trying to say........

how many times have you heard someone say "he'll never amount to anything. just look where he came from"? or, "oh yeah, he'll be a drunk one day, just like his dad"? how many times have you said yourself "i wish i could change where i came from"?

many people think that because someone comes from a broken home, they can't have a meaningful relationship. many people think that if your parents are drunks, so will you be. many people think that if you live in the "hood" you're bound to be no good. in fact, i'd be willing to say that everyone who reads this has, sometime in their lives, said something to that affect. i ask you, how much stock can you really put into that? before you answer, let me tell you a story.

in john chapter one, the bible tells how Jesus started calling His diciples. when phillip went to tell nathanael about Jesus, he said "we've found the messiah. it's Jesus of nazareth" and to this nathanael replied
Joh 1:46 And Nathanael said unto him, Can there any good thing come out of Nazareth? Philip saith unto him, Come and see.

can there any good thing come out of nazareth? wow. what a statement. to understand this, you need to know a couple of things. nazareth was kinda like a "port" town. because of it's location, they had more contact with "heathens". they spoke a cruder dialect. and it was really kinda like the "red light district" if ya know what i mean. so, knowing this, you kinda understand what he was trying to say.

that's like saying "hey, did ya hear about that new prophet that comes from vegas?" be honest, what would be your first response?

however, when he went to meet Jesus, he was floored. how could this be. surely God, in his infinite wisdom, would not send his messiah out from nazareth!!!!!!!!

you see, my friends, it doesn't really matter where you came from. trust me, i know where i came from. God chooses those with a willing heart. those who will be faithful. you are still worth more to God than you could ever imagine.

you may say, "but i've failed in so many ways", "i've been unfaithful", and any number of other "excuses" to say that you aren't worthy of God's mercy, or that you're not good enough for His purposes.

let me say this. did you know that we define what something is worth by how much we would pay for it? take a $20 bill. now, crumble it up. throw it to the ground. step on it. spit on it. tear the top left corner off. do you still want it? or are you going to throw it away because it's been abused? i bet you don't just throw it away.

knowing this, let me remind you of something. you are so precious, so valuable to God, that He paid one Jesus for your soul. still think you're worthless?

it doesn't matter where you came from. it doesn't matter who your parents are. it doesn't matter what you've done. if you'll just surrender, and accept His gift as payment for your sin, then something good can surely come out of nazareth.

God bless

how do you fight a monster?

how do you fight the monster, when the monster lives inside of you? this is the question that i've been dealing with for the last couple of weeks. i apologize for taking so long to post this one, but it's been a wild ride. so, here goes.

the answer is simple. you fight the monster one battle at a time. one day at a time. until it is defeated.

people have always seen me as the "happy" guy. the guy who has it all together. the strong one. people think that since i am a preacher, that i surely must have it all together, and never really struggle because my faith must be so strong. surely, i am beyond being shaken, right?

the truth is, you never know what someone is going through. you can never realize the pain of the fight that someone right next to you is wrestling with. unless they admit it.

if i am to be a minister, then, i must be honest with those that i minister to. beneath the armor of God that i wear, beats the heart of a man. over these last couple of months, i have been waging war with my own darkest weakness. God had revealed to me that there was an area of my life that i had tried to lock up and hide, even from Him. this has been like a cancer, eating at the very core of my soul for the last 15 years. a darkness in my heart. a monster living within me, trying to fight it's way to the surface.

in the past, this monster would show up briefly, but i was always able to beat it back down within a matter of days. (no, i'm not naming the monster for you, that is between myself, my God, and my wife, all of who are helping me in this fight) but this time, i couldn't fight it back alone. it had me wrapped in the darkness of bitterness and hate. yeah, hate. if you can imagine that from me.

my wife has been a blessing to me. i've tried so hard to protect her from this, but in truth, i could never have defeated it without her help. the bible says in proverbs 18:22 "Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favor of the LORD." how true is that?

so many times, we feel like we have to fight this fight on our own. don't ever let 'em see ya sweat!!!! fake it till ya make it??? but doesn't the bible tell us in Eccl. 4:9 Two are better than one; because they have a good reward for their labor.
Ecc 4:10 For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow: but woe to him that is alone when he falleth for he hath not another to help him up.
Ecc 4:11 Again, if two lie together, then they have heat: but how can one be warm alone?
Ecc 4:12 And if one prevail against him, two shall withstand him; and a threefold cord is not quickly broken.

i have a difficult time, sometimes, admiting that i need help. even asking for a friend to pray for me is a sign that i've gone to the very end of my ability to fight. i'd like to thank my friends who i asked to, for praying for me. it is my honest belief, that if you had not prayed for me, i may have said or done something that i could never have gotten back, destroying all hope of a peaceful victory.

so, how do you fight a monster, when the monster lives inside of you?

with everything you have. and with the help of those who love you. and when you don't have anything left to give, remember the words of the Lord to paul in 2Co 12:9 "And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me."

i've heard it said that christianity is a crutch. ya know what. i'll take that. a crutch is for someone who is broken. guess what, we are. all of us. the question is, will you take your crutch and walk through this world, or just lay down and die? the choice is yours.

as for me, i'm going to walk on.

God bless

theoldmusicbox

thank God for divine protection

i do not believe in luck. i do not believe in coincidence. i do, however, believe in God. and His divine protection.

as you all know, one of my favorite things in the world is my motorcycle. well, as you all know, they can be dangerous in many ways, as well as fun. and, in the years of my riding, i've had several close calls on the road. but none like last night.

around 10:00 o'clock last evening, i was riding home from waynesville. i was coming down s.r.73 and going about 60mph give or take a few. it was pitch black dark and cold. there are NO lights down there for the roads. just as i crested a hill i switched on an accessory and the next thing i knew, i heard a loud POP!!! ALL of my lights went out and my engine died. again, i was doing around 60mph(orso) when suddenly i had NO LIGHTS. i coasted down the hill and tried to make it up the next but didn't make it. there was no shoulder to get off of the road and i was in the valley portion of a double hill. i saw headlights behind me before i crested the hill, so i knew that i had to make a choice. i tried everything that i knew to at least get my lights on, but my whole electric and engine was hopelessly dead.
i was at my end. and thought for sure i'd be squashed by whoever was coming up behind me. so i prayed, "Lord, i need some help." as soon as i got the words out of my mouth, i saw the lights coming and heard the oncoming car. my bike is black and blue. i was wearing my black leathers, and black jean and black helmet. the truck came to a stop right behind me. the driver asked if i needed help. i said yes. he got out and helped push my bike up the hill into the first driveway. IT WAS HIS DRIVEWAY!!

he then told me that he was also a biker, and he saw my lights flickering as i topped the hill so he slowed down. then, he and his wife invited me into there home until almost 1:00 A.M because i couldn't get a tow truck for my bike. he told me that he had a trailer and a ramp so if i couldn't get help, he would take me and the bike home. one of my good friends ended up being able to make it and me and my bike made it to safety.

while i'm supremely bummed about the bike, there are several reasons for my thankfulness.

1) i was headed for i-75!! another 5 minutes and i would have been going alot faster with alot more traffic. and even if i had made it safely off the road, i would have had to sit on the side of the highway for about 3 hours and left my bike on the side of the road.

2) shane and his wife and 18 month old, were more hospitable than most people i've encountered while looking like a questionable biker decked out in leathers. (would you have let me into your house that late at night, looking like that?)

3) he was a rider, so he had ramps and stuff so that when my friend came, we were able to take my bike home.

4) i was able to keep my bike on the road while going over 60 totally blind. i literally could not see anything.

so hey, i may be bummed, but at least i'm bummed safely at home