why?

why? why me? why us? why does this have to happen now?

ever asked any of these questions? i know i have. and, i'm going to be honest with you. i don't have the answers. in fact, for the most part, i'm not any closer to the truth than i was 15 years ago.

here's the deal. about 4 weeks ago, we discovered that my wife is pregnant. this was unplanned. a total shock. we actually had just decided for me to make an appointment to end the possibility. we even sold the high chair. (dang) at first, i was asking God, why? why now? this is terrible timing. i mean really, i'll be like 53 years old when this one graduates. i was half way done!!!!!

ok, i have to admit, after the shock wore off, i was excited. happy. even kinda stupid-new-dad-giddy! and the reality started to sink in.

then, on wednesday night, my wife started having some bleeding issues. i quickly did the math, she is now 9 weeks pregnant. that is how far she was when we lost our first daughter. we called the doctor and they set up an ultrasound for thursday.

when we got in, they brought it up on the screen. i saw 2. the first thought that i had was, WOW, OMG!!!!! how do twins get through birth control? then, i noticed that i couldn't find a heartbeat. and also that 1 was much smaller than the other.

well, we were givin the news. we were going to have twins, but 1 of them didn't make it. it just wasn't strong enough. but the other was strong and healthy. finally got to see the heartbeat!!!!!!

so, this is where i am now. how am i suppose to feel? i'm heartbroken about the one, but rejoicing for the other.

in my thoughts over the last few weeks, here are some of the things on my mind. i have a good friend at work who has been trying to have a 2nd baby for the last 2 years. his lovely wife has endured 5 miscarriages in those 2 years. also, my dear friend jen, has been unable to carry a baby, and has had to have a hystorectomy, so will never be able to. even though she has an adopted daughter (who is ALL hers) she can't give birth to one. and here we are, pregnant, by accident. how do you explain this? why me, and not them. don't get me wrong, i'm not complaining. i'm just saying, it doesn't make sense to the human mind.

all of my life, i've heard things like "if God is so good, why does He let bad things happen to good people?".

well, the only thoughts i have are these. we live in a fallen world. there will be pain. there will be heartache. death, sickness, disappointments. the bible tells us that God sends rain on the just and the unjust.

you see, God never promised to keep us from pain and dissappointment. in fact He promised in his word "many are the afflictions of the righteous" (bet you won't find that in your bible promises booklet) but he also said "but the Lord will deliver them from them all". i would rather have 1,000,000 afflictions with God's deliverance than to have 1 to deal with on my own.

if you've never heard it before, i suggest that you listen to Natalie Grant's song "held". if your hurting, there is healing in it for you. it says, "when everything fails, we'll be held"

sometimes, if you're honest, when you're hurting, all you really want is to be held while you cry.

thank God for arms to hold us. i know that i've been cradled in them alot lately. and ya know, there is room for you here too.

much love

theoldmusicbox

it's your choice!

hey musiclovers! long time, no blog. sorry. lots o stuff been goin on. for those of you that don't know, i'm gonna be a daddy again.

ok. enough of that stuff. it's time to get down to what you came for, so drop your dimes, press your selection, and let the jukebox of life shine a lil sunshine on your day.

today, i want to talk about a verse of scripture that is soooooo often misinterpreted and misunderstood and misquoted, that folks don't even seem to truly know what the bible was even saying in it. even i myself have misunderstood this one for years. but God has recently opened my eyes to a neat revelation and i'm ready to share it with ya.


1Co 10:13 There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it.


ok, honestly. how many times have you heard someone say, or even said yourself, "GOD WILL NEVER PUT MORE ON YOU THAN YOU CAN BEAR". i've said it at least a million times. but, that isn't what this verse is saying. it is saying that God will not allow you to be TEMPTED above what you can bear. you see, there is a difference between affliction and temptation.

don't get me wrong. i'm not saying that God will allow you to go through something that He can't deliver you from. i believe that He said that He would give His angels charge over us, that He would hide us in the cleft of the rock, that lo, He is with us always even to the ends of the earth. all i am saying is that there is a really cool fact of life hidden in this verse.
think about it. how many times have you ACCIDENTALLY sinned? how many times have you ACCIDENTALLY betrayed your Christian beliefs? how many times have you ACCIDENTALLY done something that later on, you found yourself at the alter repenting for? the answer is simply NEVER!

you see, sin is a choice that we make. we chose to disobey. we chose to lie. we chose to fornicate. we chose to do whatever it is that is sin in our lives. the verse says that we won't be "tempted above that ye are able, but will with the temptation also make a way of escape, that you may be able to bear it." lets take a look at that ok? think about it. every time you come to that crossroads, what do you have? you have that voice in your head saying "HEY STUPID, YOU'RE ABOUT TO CROSS THE LINE!!!!!" and what do you do? you say, aww not this time, or, it'll be ok. or, my personal favorite, "this is the last time. after this, i'll never do it again" but you know what? in that moment before you fall, God is making that way of escape for you!!! God himself, has filled you with the Holy Spirit. and it is the Holy Spirit talking to you saying "HEY!!!!! TURN AROUND!!!! DON'T GO IN THERE!!!!" sometimes, i kindof picture the Holy Spirit being like someone that goes to see a horror movie. there He is, in your brain eatin popcorn, watchin you go into those places you shouldn't be. and He's screaming "DON'T GO IN THERE!! YOU'RE GONNA GET KILLED IF YOU GO IN THERE!!!" and what do we do? just like the idiots in those movies, we go down in the basement where the monsters are hiding waiting to attack us.
i'm not trying to heap shame on you. trust me, after the last few months of my life, i have no shame to call out except my own. all i'm trying to do is open your eyes like mine have been open. ever since this revelation hit me, i have ESCAPED from a temptation that i once thought that i was POWERLESS to avoid. all i want, is to give you the truth, and pray that, as it did for me, it will set you free.

love to all.

God bless.
theoldmusicbox

face to face with the monster

hey guys.

before i begin, i need to say a few things. i know that i've been asking for prayer for the last 3 months, and not been able to give many details. let me explain. this monster that i have been fighting, was a very personal matter that involved more than just myself. that is why i can't give details about it. to do that would deeply hurt someone, and that, i cannot do, so i ask for your forgiveness and patience.

for a long time now, i have had serious issues with a certain person. God has been dealing with my heart about this for sometime. i have tried to be forgiving, i have tried to let the past be in the past. i have tried all that i know to do. but deep inside of me, lies bitterness and hatred, and hurt that, no matter how hard i tried, i just couldn't be freed from. it seemed that no matter how desperately i prayed or how sincere i was in my resolve, i just couldn't be free.

i know what you're thinking, "hey, you're a minister. how can you be like that?" well, honestly, i've asked myself the same thing many times. some hurts go so deep that no matter how godly you are, you still struggle with grace, mercy and forgiveness. what can i say? Oh wretched man that i am? i'm not trying to justify myself. but, i am saying that i'm not trying to hold on to these things. i desperately want to be free from it. and i appreciate everyone's prayers.

now, i have to ask all of my friends. which one of you was praying for me between 6 and 7 p.m. on friday night Nov. 9?

on friday night, my family and i went out to celebrate my birthday (it's actually on this coming wednesday, but we're busy that night). when we got to the resteraunt, we signed in and stood off to the side to wait to be seated. right then, the object of my torment came in. then stood next to me.

my heart fell to the floor. there i was with my wife and children. all i wanted to do was to reach out and, well, i don't really know what i wanted to do. but i'm sure it wouldn't have reflected well on my good christian name.

then, the host was nice enough to seat us in such a place that when i looked up from my table, i was face to face with the monster that i have been wrestling with. i decided to go to the restroom. then, realized that to do this, i had to go right past him.

it took a few minutes to restore myself. when i came back, my wife asked if we should go. but i told her no because i really felt that God had to be doing something, because it had been about 10 years since the last time. have you ever wondered why God thinks you are stronger than you do?

anyway, they left. my family and i tried to finish the evening in better moods.

later that night, lying in bed. my wife and i cried and prayed together. i really can't express how much stronger she makes me. but today, i woke up feeling like a new man.

i must say, i think with some degree of certainty, that if the monster isn't dead, he has definately been defeated. i think that the only way to win, was for God to put me face to face. i had to see for myself that he couldn't hurt me anymore. had to know that i was safe. that my family was safe.

there are a lot of things that have to be left out to protect others. many things said and done that would help you to understand. but just know this. i could not have won this battle without your help. i could never have come face to face with the monster and walked out unscathed if i hadn't had friends praying for me. i believe that the battle is over. i believe that victory is finally mine. i believe that the effectual ferverant prayers of the righteous have availed much. i believe that i have true friends who each kept their words and prayed for me, that God would give me strength. and i am more thankful to you than words could ever express.

i have finally come face to face with the monster, and i am no longer afraid.

i love you all.

God bless.
O.

new outlook, from an old place!

hey guys!

i know, i know. it's been a long time. i'm sorry. i missed you too ;>)

today, i want to tell you something that i came across recently. you see, i love to read. i generally read about a book a week or more. i recently finished a series that a friend of mine got me totally hooked on, so i found myself without a book to read. (read, not study) when this happens, i usually either read my bible or i've started reading old classics. you know the ones. the ones that are talked about so much that you think you know what's in them so you don't need to read them.

well, in doing this i have read some great books. "hamlet" "romeo and juliet" "animal farm" "1984" "the sport of the gods (by paul lawrence dunbar)" and my 2 favorite book of all time second only to the bible "uncle tom's cabin". by the way, if you've never read uncle tom's cabin, it is a must read.

anyway, i was picking out a couple of books at the library, and i picked up "the count of monte cristo" and i wanted one more. for some reason, i saw "robinson crusoe" and in my head heard the theme song from gilligan's isle. ya know "like robinson crusoe, as primative as can be" so i decided to pick it up.

here is my point, i'm like 80 pages into the book and robinson is stranded on the island, alone with only supplies and a few books. like 3 bibles. and he has been on the island for 10 months trying to figure out what to do with his problem. he finally starts reading one of the bibles and ends up crying out to Jesus for salvation. next thing ya know, he's not feeling so desperate anymore and he makes probably one of the most profound statements that i have ever heard. he says "DELIVERANCE FROM SIN IS A GREATER BLESSING THAN DELIVERANCE FROM AFFLICTION"

wow.

you know, sometimes we can get so caught up in our day to day struggles. with our daily battles. fighting the monster that lives within us. and crying out to God to save us from ....... that we seem to forget that He already has. He has delivered us from the most devastating thing in our lives. He has delivered us, from our sin. and quite honestly, even if He doesn't free us from the afflictions in this life, it is a greater blessing that He has delivered us from Hell. both in this life, and the next.

just something to think about.

God bless
O.

any good?

hey guys! i know that it's been awhile, and i apologize. while the monster isn't quite dead yet, we do have it on the run! so, thanks to all who know and have been helping.

this week, i want to cover a new topic. ok, so it's not really all that new, but i haven't talked about it in my blogs yet. i want to talk about excuses. yeah, excuses. i'm not talking about "no, i can't, i'm doing my hair tonight", excuses. follow along and hopefully, by the end, you'll see what i'm trying to say........

how many times have you heard someone say "he'll never amount to anything. just look where he came from"? or, "oh yeah, he'll be a drunk one day, just like his dad"? how many times have you said yourself "i wish i could change where i came from"?

many people think that because someone comes from a broken home, they can't have a meaningful relationship. many people think that if your parents are drunks, so will you be. many people think that if you live in the "hood" you're bound to be no good. in fact, i'd be willing to say that everyone who reads this has, sometime in their lives, said something to that affect. i ask you, how much stock can you really put into that? before you answer, let me tell you a story.

in john chapter one, the bible tells how Jesus started calling His diciples. when phillip went to tell nathanael about Jesus, he said "we've found the messiah. it's Jesus of nazareth" and to this nathanael replied
Joh 1:46 And Nathanael said unto him, Can there any good thing come out of Nazareth? Philip saith unto him, Come and see.

can there any good thing come out of nazareth? wow. what a statement. to understand this, you need to know a couple of things. nazareth was kinda like a "port" town. because of it's location, they had more contact with "heathens". they spoke a cruder dialect. and it was really kinda like the "red light district" if ya know what i mean. so, knowing this, you kinda understand what he was trying to say.

that's like saying "hey, did ya hear about that new prophet that comes from vegas?" be honest, what would be your first response?

however, when he went to meet Jesus, he was floored. how could this be. surely God, in his infinite wisdom, would not send his messiah out from nazareth!!!!!!!!

you see, my friends, it doesn't really matter where you came from. trust me, i know where i came from. God chooses those with a willing heart. those who will be faithful. you are still worth more to God than you could ever imagine.

you may say, "but i've failed in so many ways", "i've been unfaithful", and any number of other "excuses" to say that you aren't worthy of God's mercy, or that you're not good enough for His purposes.

let me say this. did you know that we define what something is worth by how much we would pay for it? take a $20 bill. now, crumble it up. throw it to the ground. step on it. spit on it. tear the top left corner off. do you still want it? or are you going to throw it away because it's been abused? i bet you don't just throw it away.

knowing this, let me remind you of something. you are so precious, so valuable to God, that He paid one Jesus for your soul. still think you're worthless?

it doesn't matter where you came from. it doesn't matter who your parents are. it doesn't matter what you've done. if you'll just surrender, and accept His gift as payment for your sin, then something good can surely come out of nazareth.

God bless

how do you fight a monster?

how do you fight the monster, when the monster lives inside of you? this is the question that i've been dealing with for the last couple of weeks. i apologize for taking so long to post this one, but it's been a wild ride. so, here goes.

the answer is simple. you fight the monster one battle at a time. one day at a time. until it is defeated.

people have always seen me as the "happy" guy. the guy who has it all together. the strong one. people think that since i am a preacher, that i surely must have it all together, and never really struggle because my faith must be so strong. surely, i am beyond being shaken, right?

the truth is, you never know what someone is going through. you can never realize the pain of the fight that someone right next to you is wrestling with. unless they admit it.

if i am to be a minister, then, i must be honest with those that i minister to. beneath the armor of God that i wear, beats the heart of a man. over these last couple of months, i have been waging war with my own darkest weakness. God had revealed to me that there was an area of my life that i had tried to lock up and hide, even from Him. this has been like a cancer, eating at the very core of my soul for the last 15 years. a darkness in my heart. a monster living within me, trying to fight it's way to the surface.

in the past, this monster would show up briefly, but i was always able to beat it back down within a matter of days. (no, i'm not naming the monster for you, that is between myself, my God, and my wife, all of who are helping me in this fight) but this time, i couldn't fight it back alone. it had me wrapped in the darkness of bitterness and hate. yeah, hate. if you can imagine that from me.

my wife has been a blessing to me. i've tried so hard to protect her from this, but in truth, i could never have defeated it without her help. the bible says in proverbs 18:22 "Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favor of the LORD." how true is that?

so many times, we feel like we have to fight this fight on our own. don't ever let 'em see ya sweat!!!! fake it till ya make it??? but doesn't the bible tell us in Eccl. 4:9 Two are better than one; because they have a good reward for their labor.
Ecc 4:10 For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow: but woe to him that is alone when he falleth for he hath not another to help him up.
Ecc 4:11 Again, if two lie together, then they have heat: but how can one be warm alone?
Ecc 4:12 And if one prevail against him, two shall withstand him; and a threefold cord is not quickly broken.

i have a difficult time, sometimes, admiting that i need help. even asking for a friend to pray for me is a sign that i've gone to the very end of my ability to fight. i'd like to thank my friends who i asked to, for praying for me. it is my honest belief, that if you had not prayed for me, i may have said or done something that i could never have gotten back, destroying all hope of a peaceful victory.

so, how do you fight a monster, when the monster lives inside of you?

with everything you have. and with the help of those who love you. and when you don't have anything left to give, remember the words of the Lord to paul in 2Co 12:9 "And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me."

i've heard it said that christianity is a crutch. ya know what. i'll take that. a crutch is for someone who is broken. guess what, we are. all of us. the question is, will you take your crutch and walk through this world, or just lay down and die? the choice is yours.

as for me, i'm going to walk on.

God bless

theoldmusicbox

thank God for divine protection

i do not believe in luck. i do not believe in coincidence. i do, however, believe in God. and His divine protection.

as you all know, one of my favorite things in the world is my motorcycle. well, as you all know, they can be dangerous in many ways, as well as fun. and, in the years of my riding, i've had several close calls on the road. but none like last night.

around 10:00 o'clock last evening, i was riding home from waynesville. i was coming down s.r.73 and going about 60mph give or take a few. it was pitch black dark and cold. there are NO lights down there for the roads. just as i crested a hill i switched on an accessory and the next thing i knew, i heard a loud POP!!! ALL of my lights went out and my engine died. again, i was doing around 60mph(orso) when suddenly i had NO LIGHTS. i coasted down the hill and tried to make it up the next but didn't make it. there was no shoulder to get off of the road and i was in the valley portion of a double hill. i saw headlights behind me before i crested the hill, so i knew that i had to make a choice. i tried everything that i knew to at least get my lights on, but my whole electric and engine was hopelessly dead.
i was at my end. and thought for sure i'd be squashed by whoever was coming up behind me. so i prayed, "Lord, i need some help." as soon as i got the words out of my mouth, i saw the lights coming and heard the oncoming car. my bike is black and blue. i was wearing my black leathers, and black jean and black helmet. the truck came to a stop right behind me. the driver asked if i needed help. i said yes. he got out and helped push my bike up the hill into the first driveway. IT WAS HIS DRIVEWAY!!

he then told me that he was also a biker, and he saw my lights flickering as i topped the hill so he slowed down. then, he and his wife invited me into there home until almost 1:00 A.M because i couldn't get a tow truck for my bike. he told me that he had a trailer and a ramp so if i couldn't get help, he would take me and the bike home. one of my good friends ended up being able to make it and me and my bike made it to safety.

while i'm supremely bummed about the bike, there are several reasons for my thankfulness.

1) i was headed for i-75!! another 5 minutes and i would have been going alot faster with alot more traffic. and even if i had made it safely off the road, i would have had to sit on the side of the highway for about 3 hours and left my bike on the side of the road.

2) shane and his wife and 18 month old, were more hospitable than most people i've encountered while looking like a questionable biker decked out in leathers. (would you have let me into your house that late at night, looking like that?)

3) he was a rider, so he had ramps and stuff so that when my friend came, we were able to take my bike home.

4) i was able to keep my bike on the road while going over 60 totally blind. i literally could not see anything.

so hey, i may be bummed, but at least i'm bummed safely at home

prayer and forgiveness part 2

it's time now for part 2 of our lesson. last time, we covered prayer and the importance of forgiving. this lesson, in my opinion, is more difficult to take to heart and apply to your life. this lesson deals with forgiving yourself.


ok, i know what you're thinking. forgive myself? why should i forgive myself? give me a few minutes and you will see the importance.


let me paint you a picture, but first, if it's been a while since you've read the book of St. John, read chapters 18 and 21.

in chapter 18, we see the time that Jesus was being questioned. of all of the diciples, peter was the only one that followed him close enough to watch. after all, it was peter who, only hours before said "i would die before i denied you". bold words. not surprising since it was also peter who, when Jesus was arrested, cut off the ear of one of the soldiers. but if you remember the story, Jesus said that before the rooster crows, you will deny me 3 times.

the book of Luke says: Luk 22:61 And the Lord turned, and looked upon Peter. And Peter remembered the word of the Lord, how he had said unto him, Before the cock crow, thou shalt deny me thrice.

peter was close enough that Jesus LOOKED at him when the rooster crowed. imagine being peter in that moment. knowing your failure, and seeing the eyes of Christ at that moment. if only he had spoken. maybe he could have saved Him. at least he could have defended Him. spoken for Him. tried!!!!!! but instead, he denied Him. and knew that it was known.

John chapter 21, finds peter back in his old life. how much are we like that? when we fail, what do we do? we go back to our old lives. if we were drinkers, we go back to drink. if we were junkies, we go back to our junk. we try to find comfort in what we use to know. and just like peter, we find it to be fruitless. he fished all night, and caught nothing. fruitless.

then Jesus comes. tells them to cast on the other side of the boat. and what happens? so many fish that they couldn't handle it without help.

when peter comes to the shore, Jesus has dinner cooking and waiting. just imagine that meal. imagine peter's guilt. then Jesus does the unthinkable. He says "Do you love Me?" OUCH. knowing what he had done, that question must have cut through his heart like a dull knife. but he answers "yes". later Jesus asks again "do you love Me". OUCH. isn't it bad enough Lord that i know what i've done. "yes Lord". then finally comes Joh 21:17 He saith unto him the third time, Simon, son of Jona, lovest thou me? Peter was grieved because he said unto him the third time, Lovest thou me? And he said unto him, Lord, thou knowest all things; thou knowest that I love thee. Jesus saith unto him, Feed my sheep.

the third time, peter's heart finally just broke. he said "Lord, you know everything and you know i love you" Jesus said feed my sheep.

let me ask you something. how many times did peter deny christ? 3 times, right? now, how many times did Jesus ask him, do you love me? 3 times, right? peter must have seen this as an accusation, but i think that this was Jesus giving peter a chance to say "I love you" for every time that he said "i don't know the man".

how many times have you failed, then ran away to your old life because you felt conviction. my friend, just like peter, you are being asked, "do you love me?" this is not an accusation. this is Jesus asking "you do still love me, don't you?"

instead of coming home, what do we do? we hide because we feel ashamed, we hurt ourselves because we feel that we deserve to be in pain, we look to porn because we feel dirty anyway, we hurt others to make ourselves feel better, we drink or do drugs to drown our pain, we run from Jesus' question, "do you love Me?" when all He wants is to call us home!

it is easier to forgive others, or to believe in forgiveness to others, because we only see in part. but us? we know all of our own dirty secrets. we know the darkness that lives inside of us. we know just how bad that we are. but to say "i know that Jesus has forgiven me, but i just can't forgive myself." in a way, is a form of idolatry. ??????? let me paint a picture.

you walk up calvary and find the Lord, Jesus Christ. beaten. broken. bloody. crucified. and at the point of death. now, imagine looking up into those eyes and saying "Lord, i appreciate everything that you're doing here. and i thank you for it, but this is not enough for me. i know you mean well and all, and thanks for trying, but it's going to take more than this to cover my sins."

i offer you this suggestion. Jesus Christ. God in the flesh. was innocent. He also was condemned. beaten. spat on. mocked. and nailed to a tree. to forgive you. YOU. if this is not enough to forgive you, what more could He do?

at the end of John 21:17 Jesus says "feed my sheep". not only did He forgive peter, he let peter know, "i still trust you with my people". just think if peter had refused that forgiveness. what all would have been lost. it was peter who stood, full of the holy spirit on the day of pentecost, and spoke boldly of Christ and won about 3000 souls.

my friends, it's time to let yourself finally feel the freedom of forgiveness. His blood is enough for anything that you could ever done. there is no longer need for sacrifices. no longer need for self-condemnation. you can be free. the bible says "who the son sets free, is free indeed". so, if you're struggling, let me ask you something. you do still love Him, don't you?

peace be to you,

in Christ,

1oldman

prayer and forgiveness part 1

the diciples asked Jesus to "teach us how to pray" and Jesus gave them the Lord's prayer. it says


Mat 6:9 After this manner therefore pray ye: Our Father which art in heaven, Hallowed be thy name.
Mat 6:10 Thy kingdom come. Thy will be done in earth, as it is in heaven.
Mat 6:11 Give us this day our daily bread.
Mat 6:12 And forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors.
Mat 6:13 And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil: For thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory, forever., Amen.
Mat 6:14 For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you:
Mat 6:15 But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.

Jesus did 2 things here. first he gave a great outline for prayer. this was not, as the catholic church teaches, something to repeat mindlessly. this was an outline for effective prayer.

Mat 6:9 ---- open your prayer by giving God the praise that he is due.

Mat 6:10--- next, pray for God's will to be done in your life.

Mat 6:11--- pray for your needs and concerns for the day. in other words, God would like to hear from you EVERYDAY.

Mat 6:12 --- ask for forgiveness, and for God's help to forgive others

Mat 6:13--- ask for God to lead you away from temptation. and when you are foolish enough to not follow His lead, that he will give you strength to withstand temptation. then, end in praise.

after Jesus gave them this outline, if you read on, you'll see that He only came back to ONE point. in Mat 6:14-15 He spoke of forgiveness.

to me, that speaks pretty loud. He thought that of all the things He'd just spoken of, forgiveness was most important.

who are we to withhold forgiveness, knowing what we have been forgiven for, and at what cost. my friends, bitterness is a bitter pill indeed. harboring unforgiveness will eat a hole through the center of your soul. i heard it said once that holding a grudge is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die. HOW TRUE IS THAT?

when you keep these things in, all you do is put a lid on a pot of boiling water. it may look safe from the outside but what happens to you on the inside? you can't think about them without getting upset. you can be out with your family, having a great time, then run into them and your entire time with your family is ruined.

you see, mercy and grace were created for those who don't deserve mercy or grace. they mean that you give up your right to revenge. that you chose to forgive when you are not in the wrong.

i'm not naive. i know that some things are more difficult to forgive than others. but trust me, i know from experience. and i also realize that i am not God. and neither are you. there is no such thing as forgive and forget. we can't forget. all we can do is learn. but, if you can't forgive, you're giving up a piece of your heart and soul for something that you don't want anyway. so go ahead. scream. cry. give someone a hug. whatever it takes to let it go. then live.

stay tuned for part 2.

the definition of being a man

okay. i know that it's been a while since i've posted. the thing is this. i've had something brewing in my head this whole time and i wanted to wait until i had it all together before i put it out here for all to see, so bear with me, it may take a minute to read. so, here goes....

what is the definition of being a man? what are the qualifications? what exactly makes one manly? i've been thinking about this for some time now, and i can't, for the life of me understand a few things about todays thinking.
in my opinion, these are the qualities that make a guy a man. to me, this is the definition of manly.

1) honor
2) integrity
3) loyalty
4) honesty
5) passionate
6) humble
7) fierce protector
8) leader

i want to know a few things from anyone who disagrees with me. why does it make you less of a man because you choose not to drink alcohol? why does it make you less of a man if you act like you love your wife, even when others are around? why does it make you less of a man if you value her opinions, or actually respect her feelings? why would it make you less of a man because instead of going out to a strip club with the guys, you would rather spend friday night with your wife and children?

i've been watching people a little closer over the last two weeks just to see reactions about certain things. the people that most would call "manly men" are often those who frequent nude establishments (even though they're married). talk about their wives with little or no respect. or the un-married guys that sleep around.

what ever happened to chivalry? what ever happened to honor?

i joke around with many of my friends about my "lack" of manliness. because no, i don't drink. no, i don't go looking after porn. no, i don't call my wife, "the old lady". and because of this. "manly" men deem me "whipped". how did we get here?

why should i want porn? how must that make a wife feel? i believe that she would feel as though she was not "enough" for you. in my opinion, if you are checking out porn or going to strip clubs, you are cheating on your wife.

and, if you have children, do you think that these things don't affect them?

while i may not be the perfect example of "manliness". i must say, i think i'd rather be less than a man than to betray the 8 qualifications that i listed above. and if that gets me labeled as hen-pecked, or whipped, so be it.

are christians our own worst enemies?

let me begin by saying one thing. i know that not all of my subscribers are christians. i know some of you are AVID NON-CHRISTIANS. if this is you, please read this and tell me if i'm right. if you are a christian. i'd like to know what you think too. this one might be a little lengthy, so bear with me, i do have a point.

sometimes, i wonder if we as christians, are not the main reason that a lot of people do not come to Christ.

the thing that started me to think about this was actually something that really broke my heart. i took my family out to dinner a while back to a nicer restraunt. i noticed that the place was a little busy, like there was a large party. when i was seated i noticed a whole bunch of people that were all dressed up and wearing buttons on their shirts, so i figured that they were some kind of group.

when my waitress came to my table, i could tell that she had been crying. being the kind of person that i am, i had to try to add a little sunshine to her day and find out what the problem was. apparently, the group had been hers. they were very demanding (i witnessed this) they were very rude (i saw it) they were kind of hateful (i was getting aggrevated) and they didn't leave a tip. but the thing that really ticked me off was this, as they walked past my table i could read the buttons on their shirts. they said "SHINING THE LIGHT OF JESUS ON OUR TOWN"

let me ask you something. what do you think my waitress thought about the LIGHT OF JESUS? i can tell you what i would have thought. i did my best to convince her that we are not all like that, but i wonder if i had any impact.

another thing that befuddled me was a flyer for a revival that i saw the other day. i saw an advertisement for a revival that was going to be held. my first feeling was "hey that's great" till i read the whole thing. it said "come see firey preaching of the uncompromising word of God." (so far so good) then it said i am brother %#**^% and i've come to bring revival to your city. (again, no prob) come see the gifts of the spirit in operation (ok) i will be preaching against drugs, drinking, sex, immorality, homosexuality, rock and rap music. come every night to see what God can do in your life. (ok, now, as an evangelist, i'm confused.)

why would you not instead say something about hope of salvation, forgiveness of sins, or even answers to what you have been looking for, or freedom from bondage? you see, i am of the firm belief, that most people who are lost, know that they are lost. think about this. if you are a sinner, bound by these chains. are you really going to come see someone preach AGAINST these things. while i agree that we need to call sin what it is. i also believe that you have to catch a fish before you can clean it. the only people who would want to come to this after they read this are some self-righteous christians who want to be told how holy they are for not doing these things. am i wrong? you've just told the people that you are trying to reach, not to come.

i heard a man once say that his christian wife was the reason that he wouldn't give his heart to Christ. because she's nicer to a total stranger than she is to him. you've all seen those blessed saints that seem to have been dipped in lemon juice. they seem bitter and judgemental and not very happy and then they say to a lost person "you need to get Jesus in your life so you can have what i have". that's why they don't, they're afraid they might get what you've got.

i guess my point this week is this. if you are claiming to be His, act like it. my favorite verses in the bible are john 3:17 and galatians 4:16. j3:17 says "for God sent not his Son into the world to condemn the world; but that the world through him might be saved". and g4:16 says "am i therefore become your enemy, because i tell you the truth?".

to me, these two verses go hand in hand. i will tell you the truth. but it is up to you to decide what to do with it. don't get mad at me when i tell you the truth, because i'm not doing it to condemn you, i am doing it so that you might be saved.

let me finish by saying this. i believe that there are times when you just have to be blunt and (as my friend says) use your "billy club" of truth. but we also have to realize that the living of OUR LIVES can have a greater impact than anything that we ever say. we don't have to be fake. we don't have to pretend that all is well. we just have to live the most honest Christian life that we can. if you don't appear to have something other than what the world has to offer, why on earth would the world want what you have. and if you never offer hope, only judgement. why would they care what you have to say?

for my non-christian friends, i love you all, and i hope that you see that not everyone who claims Christ is representing Him. and to my Christian friends, live your life like you believe that the bible is true and like He's coming back today. love them with all of your heart, don't be afraid to tell the truth, but try to remember they are watching your life more than they are listening to your words.

just something to think about.

your comments are welcome.

stay on the frontline

God bless

i'm coming soon

hello everyone. i'm still trying to figure out how this site works. i've almost got it. i'll try to have an actual blog posted by wednesday. till then, have a great week.