prayer and forgiveness part 2

it's time now for part 2 of our lesson. last time, we covered prayer and the importance of forgiving. this lesson, in my opinion, is more difficult to take to heart and apply to your life. this lesson deals with forgiving yourself.


ok, i know what you're thinking. forgive myself? why should i forgive myself? give me a few minutes and you will see the importance.


let me paint you a picture, but first, if it's been a while since you've read the book of St. John, read chapters 18 and 21.

in chapter 18, we see the time that Jesus was being questioned. of all of the diciples, peter was the only one that followed him close enough to watch. after all, it was peter who, only hours before said "i would die before i denied you". bold words. not surprising since it was also peter who, when Jesus was arrested, cut off the ear of one of the soldiers. but if you remember the story, Jesus said that before the rooster crows, you will deny me 3 times.

the book of Luke says: Luk 22:61 And the Lord turned, and looked upon Peter. And Peter remembered the word of the Lord, how he had said unto him, Before the cock crow, thou shalt deny me thrice.

peter was close enough that Jesus LOOKED at him when the rooster crowed. imagine being peter in that moment. knowing your failure, and seeing the eyes of Christ at that moment. if only he had spoken. maybe he could have saved Him. at least he could have defended Him. spoken for Him. tried!!!!!! but instead, he denied Him. and knew that it was known.

John chapter 21, finds peter back in his old life. how much are we like that? when we fail, what do we do? we go back to our old lives. if we were drinkers, we go back to drink. if we were junkies, we go back to our junk. we try to find comfort in what we use to know. and just like peter, we find it to be fruitless. he fished all night, and caught nothing. fruitless.

then Jesus comes. tells them to cast on the other side of the boat. and what happens? so many fish that they couldn't handle it without help.

when peter comes to the shore, Jesus has dinner cooking and waiting. just imagine that meal. imagine peter's guilt. then Jesus does the unthinkable. He says "Do you love Me?" OUCH. knowing what he had done, that question must have cut through his heart like a dull knife. but he answers "yes". later Jesus asks again "do you love Me". OUCH. isn't it bad enough Lord that i know what i've done. "yes Lord". then finally comes Joh 21:17 He saith unto him the third time, Simon, son of Jona, lovest thou me? Peter was grieved because he said unto him the third time, Lovest thou me? And he said unto him, Lord, thou knowest all things; thou knowest that I love thee. Jesus saith unto him, Feed my sheep.

the third time, peter's heart finally just broke. he said "Lord, you know everything and you know i love you" Jesus said feed my sheep.

let me ask you something. how many times did peter deny christ? 3 times, right? now, how many times did Jesus ask him, do you love me? 3 times, right? peter must have seen this as an accusation, but i think that this was Jesus giving peter a chance to say "I love you" for every time that he said "i don't know the man".

how many times have you failed, then ran away to your old life because you felt conviction. my friend, just like peter, you are being asked, "do you love me?" this is not an accusation. this is Jesus asking "you do still love me, don't you?"

instead of coming home, what do we do? we hide because we feel ashamed, we hurt ourselves because we feel that we deserve to be in pain, we look to porn because we feel dirty anyway, we hurt others to make ourselves feel better, we drink or do drugs to drown our pain, we run from Jesus' question, "do you love Me?" when all He wants is to call us home!

it is easier to forgive others, or to believe in forgiveness to others, because we only see in part. but us? we know all of our own dirty secrets. we know the darkness that lives inside of us. we know just how bad that we are. but to say "i know that Jesus has forgiven me, but i just can't forgive myself." in a way, is a form of idolatry. ??????? let me paint a picture.

you walk up calvary and find the Lord, Jesus Christ. beaten. broken. bloody. crucified. and at the point of death. now, imagine looking up into those eyes and saying "Lord, i appreciate everything that you're doing here. and i thank you for it, but this is not enough for me. i know you mean well and all, and thanks for trying, but it's going to take more than this to cover my sins."

i offer you this suggestion. Jesus Christ. God in the flesh. was innocent. He also was condemned. beaten. spat on. mocked. and nailed to a tree. to forgive you. YOU. if this is not enough to forgive you, what more could He do?

at the end of John 21:17 Jesus says "feed my sheep". not only did He forgive peter, he let peter know, "i still trust you with my people". just think if peter had refused that forgiveness. what all would have been lost. it was peter who stood, full of the holy spirit on the day of pentecost, and spoke boldly of Christ and won about 3000 souls.

my friends, it's time to let yourself finally feel the freedom of forgiveness. His blood is enough for anything that you could ever done. there is no longer need for sacrifices. no longer need for self-condemnation. you can be free. the bible says "who the son sets free, is free indeed". so, if you're struggling, let me ask you something. you do still love Him, don't you?

peace be to you,

in Christ,

1oldman