you are my hope

so hey, this month, in children's ministry, we are teaching the kids about hope. so i ask myself, what exactly does that mean. what does it mean to have hope? why should i have hope? is there really anything left in the world to have hope in? or have we as a human race become so jaded that we see life as hopeless?

i mean, really! the economy is going down the tubes. the world, as a whole, seems to be at war. people all around me are losing their jobs. loved ones are getting bad health reports. shucks, even i had to go to the hospital and have my appendix removed a couple weeks ago. so, really, where can we find hope.

i've had several conversations in the last couple of weeks with people that i truly love and respect. (no, not just YOU ;) btw) and they are totally disheartened. they seem to be losing their faith because of things going on in their church. and they are on the path to being some of those old bitter sourpuss christians that we all know (and love (: ). where is the HOPE?

i must admit, there have been times when my faith was shaken. there have been times when i blamed God for the shortcomings of His people. and there have been times when i have even asked God, "are we really worth the trouble?" and every time, He gently reminds me, "yes, my son, YOU were worth it all".

you see, i have no delusions of grandeur. i know that i am just as bad as the people that almost made me bitter. i've hurt others. i've discouraged others. i've let others down. and i've broken their hearts. not intentionally, of course. but i am human, just like them. the thing that we need to understand, is that, most of the time, when we are hurt, it was NOT intentional. like the old saying goes "the road to hell is paved with good intentions". sometimes, when we are wounded by "friendly fire" it is not so much "on purpose" as it is "a fallen human was involved".

that is why the bible tells us not to put our faith in men. that is why we know that Jesus, not the pastor, or the deacon, or the assistant pastor, or the woman in the third row, etc. etc etc, is our savior, and is the one who we should look to. is the one that our faith should be in.

how many of you remember the late 80's and early 90's????? were you old enough to remember all of the televangelists that fell? and ALL of the people who fell away from the church. i mean, who remembers the group "suicidal tendencies" song "send me your money"? and ozzy osbournes' song "miracle man"? it seemed like the whole world lost sight of Christ because a few highly placed preachers, fell from grace. lost sight of the savior. my question is this, why did the world fall away? was it because Christ let them down, or because their faith was in men?

billy graham once said that "the greatest cause of atheism in the world today is christians, who say that Jesus lives, then deny that he does by their lifestyle" how true is that? i wrote a blog a long time ago that asked the question "are christians their own worst enemies?" and covered this before. so, i have to ask again, where can we find hope?

2 of my favorite groups are third day and skillet. (yeah, i know) and 2 songs that by them that i love are "my hope is you (td)" and "you are my hope (S)". it really doesn't get any simpler than that. when you are all out of hope, there is really only one place to find it. if you are tired, there is only one place to find rest. if you are scared, there is only one place to find comfort. and if you are hurting, there is only one place to find healing. it is not in yourself, it is not in a bar, it is not in a bed, it is not on the road, it is not on the run. and i've said this a thousand times before. but if you are finally at the end of yourself, and your tired of running. the best place to run, is home. to the loving, waiting arms of YOUR savior. because it truly is only there that you will ever find hope. and the hope that you are desperately searching for is there waiting for you.

i love you all
much love
theoldmusicbox

I'm dying, so i'm writing my own eulogy

not anytime soon, but, yes, i am dying. you see, i have this condition that there has no cure. and i am hopeless to fight it. my condition is called humanity. and my demise is because of the side effects of this thing called sin.

sorry for the heart stopping title, but now that i've got your attention, let me tell you what has been on my heart lately.

one of my best friends, and most loved people in the whole world has lost 2 people that she loved dearly in the last month. both to cancer. a guy that i work with is watching his wife slowly lose that same battle. the girl who lives next door to me is suffering from kidney failure and is waiting for a transplant, and she has only been home 6 days of the new year so far. and now, she has to sit around dying, praying that someone else that matches her blood types and other factors has a bad accident and dies, and is also a donor so that she can live. how bad would that suck? i can't even imagine being in that position. and, my mother just had double by-pass surgery.

where is God in all of this? why does He let these things happen? Why doesn't He just save us all?

how many times have i posed these questions to God? the best answer that i can give is this. death, sickness, pain, and heartache are all in this world because of sin. we live in a fallen world. full of sin. and the wages of sin is death. so, hey, i guess that since i am a sinner (even though saved by grace), one of these days, i'm going to get paid. unless Jesus comes back before payday, or i go out like elijah (and really, how cool would that be?). no matter if i lose weight and take better care of myself. i'm still dying. (that's no excuse to not take care of yourself by the way) but it's true.

i heard a song today. one of the lines really caught my attention. it said "i wish this moment wouldn't be me dying, but me spending a little time with you" that is the kind of attitude that i want to have.

so, if i die, i don't want it to be an event that is devastating to people. i don't want people mourning me for months and months. i don't want people being angry at God because He took me. i don't want my funeral to be a mourning of my DEATH, i want it to be a celebration of my LIFE. i want people to be thankful to God that He allowed me to be in their lives for however long it was.

and honestly, if remembering me makes your teardrops fall, then please, don't remember me at all.

i want to be remembered as a man who loved God more than his own life. a man who loved his wife with every ounce of my being. a man who cherished my children so much that i sacrificed all i had to make them happy and gave all that i could to lead them to Christ. a friend who could always seem to make you smile. give that encouraging word when you needed it. and help you learn to hear from God for yourself. the minister that cried with you, laughed with you, prayed with you, worshiped with you and tried his best to leave you with something to think about. the singer who could move you with his spirit as much as his voice. and the writer who wrote the things that you just couldn't seem to put into words.

let that be my eulogy. to live is Christ, but to die is gain. and, while i don't want to die, i don't want to be mad when it happens :)

these are just a few things that have been on my mind lately.
much love
theoldmusicbox