I'm dying, so i'm writing my own eulogy

not anytime soon, but, yes, i am dying. you see, i have this condition that there has no cure. and i am hopeless to fight it. my condition is called humanity. and my demise is because of the side effects of this thing called sin.

sorry for the heart stopping title, but now that i've got your attention, let me tell you what has been on my heart lately.

one of my best friends, and most loved people in the whole world has lost 2 people that she loved dearly in the last month. both to cancer. a guy that i work with is watching his wife slowly lose that same battle. the girl who lives next door to me is suffering from kidney failure and is waiting for a transplant, and she has only been home 6 days of the new year so far. and now, she has to sit around dying, praying that someone else that matches her blood types and other factors has a bad accident and dies, and is also a donor so that she can live. how bad would that suck? i can't even imagine being in that position. and, my mother just had double by-pass surgery.

where is God in all of this? why does He let these things happen? Why doesn't He just save us all?

how many times have i posed these questions to God? the best answer that i can give is this. death, sickness, pain, and heartache are all in this world because of sin. we live in a fallen world. full of sin. and the wages of sin is death. so, hey, i guess that since i am a sinner (even though saved by grace), one of these days, i'm going to get paid. unless Jesus comes back before payday, or i go out like elijah (and really, how cool would that be?). no matter if i lose weight and take better care of myself. i'm still dying. (that's no excuse to not take care of yourself by the way) but it's true.

i heard a song today. one of the lines really caught my attention. it said "i wish this moment wouldn't be me dying, but me spending a little time with you" that is the kind of attitude that i want to have.

so, if i die, i don't want it to be an event that is devastating to people. i don't want people mourning me for months and months. i don't want people being angry at God because He took me. i don't want my funeral to be a mourning of my DEATH, i want it to be a celebration of my LIFE. i want people to be thankful to God that He allowed me to be in their lives for however long it was.

and honestly, if remembering me makes your teardrops fall, then please, don't remember me at all.

i want to be remembered as a man who loved God more than his own life. a man who loved his wife with every ounce of my being. a man who cherished my children so much that i sacrificed all i had to make them happy and gave all that i could to lead them to Christ. a friend who could always seem to make you smile. give that encouraging word when you needed it. and help you learn to hear from God for yourself. the minister that cried with you, laughed with you, prayed with you, worshiped with you and tried his best to leave you with something to think about. the singer who could move you with his spirit as much as his voice. and the writer who wrote the things that you just couldn't seem to put into words.

let that be my eulogy. to live is Christ, but to die is gain. and, while i don't want to die, i don't want to be mad when it happens :)

these are just a few things that have been on my mind lately.
much love
theoldmusicbox